王尔德(英国)作
薛琪瑛女士译
美
那其余的都狠不好吗。
柯
狠可怕。我到夜里想起的时候。即刻就要上床去睡。
美
好。我喜欢你的坏皮气。一样都不要你抛弃。
柯
你怎这样可爱。你是永远可爱。如今我要问你一声。是什么人领齐佛雷夫人到此地来的。就是穿紫色衣服。刚才和你哥哥走出间这屋子的那妇人。
美
我想是麻克别夫人领他来的。你为什么要问他。
柯
不是别的。因为我多年没有看见他了。
美
这个理由是不通的。
柯
一切理由。都没有通的。
美
他是何等人物。
柯
他是狠有才能。工内媚的人。
美
我早己不喜欢他。
柯
这可见你的眼力不差。
南
（上前）呀。英国的姑娘。岂不是眼光最利害的监督人吗。实在是这样。
柯
这是新闻纸上时常讲的。
南
我读过你们英国各种的报纸。觉得狠有趣味。
柯
我亲爱的南甲克。那么你必须体会那言外的意思。
南
我本喜欢这样。不过我的教授不愿意。（对美白儿说）姑娘。你许我随你到音乐室去吗。
美
（作失望状）喜欢的。先生。我狠喜欢。（转白柯林说）你可要到音乐室来呢。
柯
美白儿姑娘。我不去。倘是在那里奏乐。
美
（作庄严状）那是德国音乐。你不懂的。
（美白儿与南甲克同下。葛佛显走向其子。
葛
呀。在此地做什么。你依旧旷废时光。现在不早了。应该睡了。我听说有一天你在路福特夫人那里跳舞直到早晨四点钟。
柯
父亲呀。不过是四点钟前一刻。
葛
我不懂你如何能处这伦敦的社会。风俗一败涂地。许多可恶无聊的人。所讲的尽是虚浮无用之谈。
柯
父亲呀。我爱讲虚浮的事。只有这个是我都知道的。
葛
在我看起来。你活在世上。只是为着欢娱。
柯
父亲呀活在世上。还为着什么呢。娱乐最是使人增寿的。
葛
你是无心肝的。狠是无心肝的。
柯
父亲呀。我盼望我不是这样。斐锡敦夫人请了。
裴
（弯了两条柳眉说道）你在此地吗。我不想你曾经到过政界宴会没有。
柯
我狠爱政界宴会。因为只有那个所在的人不谈国事。
裴
我喜欢谈国事。我成天谈的都是这个。但是我不耐烦听人家讲这些事。我不知道那些不幸在议院里的人。如何能耐烦那些极长的辩论。
柯
不过是不听罢了。
裴
真的吗。
柯
（作极庄严状）自然。你要晓得听了是一极困难的事。若是有一人去听他人被人辩胜。或是他自己的议论被人辩胜。就成了极无道理的人了。
裴
唉。男子们何以如此。我终不懂得。对於女子。也是这样。你看他们的丈夫。终不肯评论他们。
马
（叹息介）我们的丈夫。无论什么事。不曾评论我们。我们只好去问旁人。
裴
（用力说）不错。岂不是我们时常去问旁人吗。
柯
（微笑介）这就是你两位夫人的意见吗。你两位都有最可称赞的丈夫。所以在这伦敦城内无人不晓。
马
正是为此。我们不能忍受。我家雷及那。本是毫无过失。有时也真令人不耐烦。但是他实在没有一点激昂的态度。
柯
奇怪的狠。真的这事我们应当知道。
裴
裴锡敦实不见佳。他多在家。少在外。好像未曾娶亲的人。
马
（与裴锡敦夫人握手介）我可怜的阿利维亚。我们嫁了完好的丈夫。因此大受责罚。
柯
我想是你们的丈夫受人责罚。
马
（起身介）呀。不是。他们是很快乐自在。很信服我们。他们这样的信服我们。是可愁闷的事。
裴
狠是愁闷。
柯
裴锡敦夫人。或者是可喜的事。
裴
柯林君。断然不是可喜的事。你这样说法。实在是不顺人情。
马
柯林君依旧反对我们。我看见他进来的时候。和齐佛雷夫人讲话。
柯
齐佛雷夫人。好缥致的妇人呀。
裴
（作不快状）请你不要在我们面前称赞别的妇人。你应该候我们说。
柯
我是等候你们说。
马
我们不要去称赞他。听说他礼拜一晚上。在歌剧场对路福德太密说。他所见的伦敦社会。不过是些豪华公子和妖艳的妇人。
柯
他说得不错。岂不是男子都是豪华。女子都是妖艳吗。
马
（踌躇了一会）嗄。你真个想齐佛雷夫人是这样意思吗。
柯
自然。这是齐佛雷夫人极通达的言论。（纪尔泰美白儿上。与众人接谈。）
美
你们为什么在此讲齐佛雷夫人。人人都谈论他。柯林君说——柯林君。你曾说过齐佛雷夫人是怎样一个人呢。呵。我想起来了你说他是又有才能又工内媚的人。
裴
这两样品性联合起来。是很可怕的。也很不自然。
马
（神思恍忽介）我喜欢看看有才能的人。也要听听美人的讲话。
柯
呀。你好像有些不舒服。马孟德夫人。
马
（作真实快乐状）我很喜欢听见你说这话。马孟德和我结婚己有七年。他不曾对我说我是有病。男子们实是不注意这些事的。
裴
（转白马孟德夫人说）亲爱的马葛来脱。我常说你是伦敦城内最多病的人。
马
唉。阿利维亚。只有你是时常怜惜我的。
美
要吃东西可是有病呢。我狠饿了。柯林君。你肯和我用晚饭吗。
柯
狠欢喜的。美白儿姑娘。（与美白儿同下）
美
你狠是可恶。今天晚上。还没有和我讲过话。
柯
我如何能和你讲话。你自己跟那年轻的外交家走开了。
美
你应当跟着我们去。跟随乃是唯一的礼貌。我今晚一点都不喜欢你。
柯
我喜欢你极了。
美
好。我情愿你用更显明的方法。表明你的意思。（与柯林同下楼）
马
阿利维亚。我觉得很疲倦。我想恐怕是要用晚饭了。我明白我是要晚饭。
裴
马葛来脱。我也狠想用晚饭。
马
男子们竟是如此私心。他们总不想到这些事。
裴
男子是蠢物蠢物。
（南甲克偕他客数人来自音乐室。留心一看在坐诸人。然后走向裴锡敦夫人。）
南
伯爵夫人。准我陪你去用晚饭么。
裴
（作冷淡状）子爵。我是不用晚饭的。多谢你。（南甲克将退出。裴锡敦夫人见之。即起身挽南甲克之臂说道。）但是我狠喜欢同你去。
南
我竟这样爱吃。我所有的嗜好。简直是个英国人。
裴
你看起来全然是英国人。子爵全然是英国人。
（南裴同下。华服少年孟得福。走近马孟德夫人。）
孟
马孟德夫人。要用晚饭么。
马
（作疲倦状）孟得福先生。谢谢。我是不用晚饭的。（急起身挽孟得福之臂说道）但是我情愿坐在你的傍边看着你。
孟
我用饭的时候。不喜欢。人家瞧着。
马
那么我去看着别人。
孟
这样我也不喜欢。
马
（作严肃状）孟得福先生。请你不要在大众面前。显出妒忌的样子。
（孟马及他宾客。一同下楼。正值纪尔泰洛勃脱同齐佛雷夫人上来。）
洛
齐佛雷夫人。你动身离英国以前。还要到别的人家宴会去吗。
齐
嗄。不去了。我不耐烦你们英国人家的宴会。英国人用早饭时。就要打扮得十分华丽。那是狠讨厌的。只有愚蠢的人。用早饭时就妆得非常华丽。还有那家庭祷告。也是时常应有之事。洛勃脱君。我去留英伦。全在乎你。（在长椅上坐下）
洛
（坐齐傍边说）实在吗。
齐
实在不假。我要和你讲一政治上同财政上极大的计画。就是这亚琴廷运河公司。
洛
齐佛雷夫人。你所讲的是一件狠麻烦的实用的事体。
齐
呀。我喜欢麻烦而且有实用的事。但是不喜欢麻烦好实用的人。这中间有极大的分别。而且我知道你是赞成那万国交通的运河事业。政府收买苏彝士运河股份的时候。你不是来特立公的书记吗。
洛是的。但是那苏彝士运河。乃是极伟大极光荣的事业。是给我们上印度去的一条直路。那是狠有价值。我们必须管理的。这亚琴廷的计画。乃是一平常股票行的骗局。
An Ideal Husband
A Play
By
Oscar Wilde.
Mabel Chiltern
Are the others very bad?
Lord Goring
Quite dreadful! When I think of them at night I go to sleepatonce.
Mabel Chiltern
Well, I delight in your bad qualities. I wouldn't have youpartwith one of them.
Lord Goring
How very nice of you! But then you are always nice. By the way, I want to ask you aquestion, MissMabel. WhobroughtMrs.Cheveley here? That woman in heliotrope,who has just gone outoftheroom with your brother?
Mabel Chiltern
Oh, I think Lady Markdy brought her. Why do you ask ?
Lord Goring
I haven't seen her for years, that is all.
Mabel Chiltern
What an absurd reason!
Lord Goring
All rersons are absurd.
Mabel Chiltern
What sort of a woman is she?
Lord Goring
Oh! a genius in the daytime and a beauty at night.
Mabel Chiltern
I dislike her already.
Lorb Goring
That shows your admirable good taste.
Vicomte de Nanjac
(Approaching.) Ah, the English young lady is thedragonofgoodtaste, is she not? Quite the dragon of good taste.
Lord Goring
So the newspapers are always telling us.
Vicomte de Nanjac
I read all your English newspapers. I find them so amusing.
Lord Goring
Then, my dear Nanjac, you must certainly read between the lines.
Vicomte de Nanjac
I should like to, but my professor objects. (To Mabel Chiltern. )May IhavethePleasureofescortingyoutothemusic- room,Mabemoiselle?
Mabel Chiltern
(Looking evry disappointed.) Delighted, Vicomte, quite delighted!(Turning to Lord Goring.) Aren't you coming to the music-room?
Lord Goring
Not if there is any music going on, Miss Mabel.
Mabel Chilaern
(Severely.) The music is in German. You Would not understand it.
(Goes out with the Vicomte de Nanjac. Lord Caversham comesuptohis son.)
Lord Caversham
Well, sir! what are you doing here? Wasting your lifeasusual!You should be in bed, sir. You keep too late hours!Iheardofyouthe other night at Lady Rufford's dancing tillfouro'clockinthemorning!
Lord Goring
Only a quarter to four father.
Lord Gaversham
Can't make out how you stand London Society. Thethinghasgoneto the dogs, a lot of damned nobodies talking about nothing.
Lord Goring
I love talking about nothing, father. It is the only thing Iknowanything about.
Lord Caversham
You seen to me to be living entirely for pleasure.
Lord Goring
What else is theretolivefor, father? Nothingageslikehappiness.
Lord Caversham
You are heartless, sir, very heartless!
Lord Goring
I hope not, father. Good evening, Lady Basildon!
Lady Basildon
(Arching two pretty eyebrows.) Are you here? Ihadnoideayouever came to political parties!
Lord Goring
I adore political parties. They are theonlyplacelefttouswhere people don't talk politics.
Lady Basildon
I delight in talking politics. I talk them all daylong. ButIcan't dear listening to them. I don't know how the unfortunate meninthe House stand these long debates.
Lord Goring
By never listening.
Lady Basildon
Really?
Lord Goring
(in his most serious manner.) Of course. You see,itisaverydangerous thing to listen. If one listens one may beconvinced; and aman who allows himself to be convinced by an argumentis a thoroughlyunreasonable person.
Lady Basildon
Ah! that accounts for so much in men that I have never understood,ann so much in women that their husbands never appreciate in then!
Mrs. Marchmont
(with a sigh.) Our husbands never appreciate anything inus. Wehave to go to others for that!
Lady Basildon
(Emphatically.) Yes, always to others, have we not?
Lord Goring
(Smiling.) And those are the viewsofthetwoladieswhoareknown to have the most admirable husbands in London.
Mrs. Marchmont
That is exactlywhatwecan'tstand. MyReginaldisquitehopilessly faultless. He is really unendurably so, at times! Thereisnot the smallest element of excitement in knowing him.
Lord Goring
How terrible! Really, the thing should be more widely known!
Lady Basildon
Basildon is quite as bad; heinasdomesticasifhewasabachelor.
Mrs. Marchmont
(Pressing Lady Basildon's hand.) My poor Olivia! Wehavemarriedperfect husbands, and we are well punished for it.
Lord Goring
I should have thought it was the husbands who were punished.
Mrs. Marchmont
(Drawing herself up.) Oh, dear no! They are as happy as possible!And as for trusting us, it is tragic how much they trust us.
Lady Basildon
Perfectly tragic!
Lord Goring
Or comic, Lady Basildon?
Lady Basildon
Certainly not comic, Lord Goring. How unkindofyoutosuggestsuch a thing?
Mrs. Marchmont
I am afraid Lord Goring is in the camp of the enemy, as usual. Isaw him talking to that Mrs. Cheveley when he came in.
Lord Goring
Handsome woman, Mrs. Cdveley!
Lady Basildon
(Stiffiy.) Please don't praise other women in our presence. Youmight wait for us to do that!
Lord Goring
I did wait.
Mrs. Marchmont
Well, we are not going to praise her.IhearshewenttotheOpera on Monday night, and told Tommy Rufford at supphr that,asforas she could see, London Society was entirely made up ofdowdiesanddandies.
Lord Goring
She is quite right, too. The men are alldowdiesandthewomenare all dandies, aren't they?
Mrs. Marchmont
(After a pause.) Oh! doyoureallythinkthatiswhatMrs.Cheveley meant?
Lord Goring
Of course. And a very sensible remark for Mrs. Chevelcy tomake,too.
(Enter Mabel Chiltern. She joins the group.)
Mabel Chiltern
Why are you talking about Mrs.Cheveley? Everybodyistalkingabouf Mrs. Cheveley! Lord Goring says—what did you say, Lord Goring,about Mrs. Cheveley? Oh! I remember, that shewasageniusinthedaytime and a beauty at night.
Lady Basildon
What a horrid combination! So very unnatural!
Mrs. Marchmont
(In her most dreamy manner.) Ilikelookingatgeniuses, andlistening to beautiful people.
Lord Goring
Ah! that is morbid of you, Mrs. Marchmont?
Mrs. Marchmont
(Brightening to a look of real pleasure.) I amsogladtohearyou say that. Marchmont and I have been married for seven years, andhe has never once told me that I was morbid. Menaresopainfullyunobservant j
Lady Basildon
(Turning to her.) I have always said,dearMangaret, thatyouwere the most morbid person in London.
Mrs. Marchmont
Ah! but you are always sympathetic, Olivia!
Mabel Chiltern
Is it morbid to have a desire for food? I have a great desireforfood. Lord Goring, will you give me some supper?
Lord Goring
With pleasure, Miss Mabel. (Moves away with her.)
Mabel Chiltern
How horrid you have been! You have never talked tomethewholeevening!
Lord Goring
How could I? You went away with the childdiplomatist.
Mabel Chiltern
Yau might have followed us. Pursuit would have been onlypolite.I don't think I like you at all this evening!
Lord Goring
I like you immensely.
Mabel Chiltern
Well, I wish you'd show itinamoremarkedway! ( Theygodownstairs.)
Mrs. Maichmont
Olivia, I have a curious feeling of absolute faintness. I thinkIshould like some supper very much. I know I should like some supper.
Lrhy Basildon
I am positively dying for supper, Margaret!
Mrs. Marchmont
Men are so horribly selfish, they never think of these things.
Lady Basildon
Men are grossly material, grossly material!
(The Vicomte dd Nanjac enters from the musicroom withsomeotherguests. After having carefully examined all thepeoplepresent, heapproaches Lady Basildon.)
Vicomte de Nanjac
May I have the honour of taking you down to supper, Comtesse?
Lady Basildon
(Coldly.) I never take supper, thank you, Vicomte.( TheVicomteis about to retire. Lady Basildon, seeing this, risesatonceandtakes his arm.) But I will come down with you with pleasure.
Vicomte de Nanjac
I am so fond of eating! I am very English in all my tastes.
Lady Basildon
You look quite English, Vicomte, quite English.
(They pass out. Mr. Montford, a perfectlygroomedyoungdandy,approaches Mrs. Marchmont.)
Mr. Montford
Like some supper, Mrs. Marchmont?
Mrs. Marchmont
(Languidly.) Thank you, Mr. Montford, I never touchsupper.(Rises hastily and takes his arm.) But I willsitbesideyou, andwatch you.
Mr. Montford
I don't know that I like being watched when I am eating!
Mrs. Marchmont
Then I will watch some one else.
Mr. Montford
I don't know that I should like that either.
Mrs. Marchmont
(Severely.) Pray, Mr. Montford, do not make thesepainfulscenesof jealousy in public.
(They go downstairs with the otherguests, passingSirRobertChiltern and Mrs. Cheveley, who now enter.)
Sir Robert Chiltern
And are yot going to any of our country housesbeforeyouleaveEngland, Mrs. Cheveley?
Mrs. Cheveley
Oh, no! I can'tstandyourEnglishhouseparties. InEnglandpeople actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is sodreadfulof them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. Andthenthefamily skeleton is always reading family prayers. My stayinEnglandreally depends on you, Sir Robert. (Sits down on the sofa.)
Sir Robert Chiltern
(Taking a seat beside her.) seriously?
Mrs. Cheveley
Quite seriously. I want to talk to youaboutagreatpoliticaland financial scheme, about this Argentine Canal Company, in fact.
Sir Robert Chiltern
What a tedious, practichl subject for you totalkabout, Mrs,Cheveley!
Mrs. Cheveley
Oh, I like tedious, practical subjects.WhatIdon'tlikearetedious, practical people. There is a wide difference.Besides, youare interested, I know, in International Canal schemes. You wereLordRadley's secretary, weren't you, when the Government boughttheSuezCanal shares?
Sir Robert Chiltern
Yes. But the Suez Canal was a very great and splendid undertaking. It gave us our direct route to India. It had imperial valueItwasnecessary that we should have control.ThisArgentineschemeisacommonplace Stock Exchange swindle.
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